Blind Puppies and "GO AWAY NAUGHTY HEAD ACHE!!!"

Hi everyone, its Friday afternoon, the working week is grinding to a halt. PG is slowly getting over her injuries, (guess who makes pole dancing pissed at a Party a full contact sport?).

Well its time to invoke the SOP’s (Standard operating procedures) & for any newbies reading this for the first time, I’ll explain ‘em to you.

Those who want a drink, glasses in the cupboard, coffee mugs next to ‘em, kettle on the bench, white wine & the milk are in the fridge, red in the pantry, bourbon in the cupboard, ice in the freezer.

While you’re up, some one grab Uncle Furry a big glass, chuck in ½ a dozen ice cubes, fill it up with bourbon. Pull up a bit of floor & relax for another double installment of the Furry Chronicles.

Listen, another important announcement before we start, all that pissing & griping about passive smoking, has finally worked. PG & Furry as of last Saturday decided to give up the smokes.

So if I’m a little pissy and people are talking while I’m telling my story, I’ll be as compassionate as ever. So expect to hear “Tuff shit & shut the fuck up” if your talking while I’m trying to interrupt with my story!

The first is when I was a sweet & loving young lad. As I’ve said before in my posts, Poppa & Nanna L often minded Cousin Lainie & I. Now Poppy L was as cool as they came.

He’d love spending time with us, and quite often would take us on excursions. At the tender age of 3 & 4 Lainie & I would go to the Fitzroy Gardens in the city, look at Captain Cook’s cottage, the fairy tree, have a picnic lunch, feed the birds (ducks) bread, etc.

Poppy never ran out of ideas, or things for us to do. Museums, churches, country drives, shopping in the city, all these activities were done with Poppa L. Nanna was a "little beige", and ALWAYS had a headache & therefore seldom ever came on these outings. Her company was severely missed, and that brings us to the first half of today’s story. Furry medicine!

This particular day was the first time we were going off for a picnic & to play with the blind puppies. Here’s the picture, Nanna is sitting on her chair at the end of the table, with a cup of black tea. Head in her hands because she had a “headache”.

Poppy has just told Lainie & Furry that we’re going out for a picnic & to visit the blind puppies. We first thought that the puppies were blind & Lainie & Furry bawled their little eyes out, our hearts broken as we bawled "The Puppies are gonna crash into walls & trees BAH HAW HAW HAW".

Poppy trying desperately to gain control, then explained that these "were the puppies that blind people used to see with". There was silence .... then we bawled even more. Furry announced "They take the puppies eyes give to the blind people ..... BAH HAWWWW" .

Poppy, now desperately trying to get us to stop, then explained that the people were blind & the puppies kept them safe by helping them walk around things & cross the roads, etc.

Well we now bawled for the people who were blind & couldn’t see. Today I think back & go “Well done Pop, maybe you should have just stuck with the blind puppies & called it quits there”.

So, there’s Nanna, now probably with a migraine. Lainie & Furry bawling their eyes out, Poppy having to be louder than normal to get heard over the wailing. He then plays the trump card, today we’re off to have a picnic at Studley Park, on the banks of the Yarra River & then go visit the puppies & play with them all day.

Apparently it was part of the training for little puppies & was designed to get them used to human contact. So the thought of a) a picnic with Poppy & b) romping & rolling away the afternoon with cute little puppies was just too fine to mention, so we went from tears to cheers in about a second.

Lots of yipping & yapping from Furry & Lainie. Lainie then looked across to Nanny, seeing her with her head buried in her hands climbed up on the table in front of her. Gently cupping Nanny’s face she asked -

“Nanny, are you coming with Poppy & us to play with the puppies?”

Nanny “No dearest, Nanny has an awful headache & just wants to lay on the bed in the dark”

Lainie “Does this headache make you feel sick in the tummy too Nanny?”

Nanny “Yes darling, Nanny feels quite unwell”

Furry “I’LL FIX IT”

Now Poppy used to have a stash of Barley Sugar & Toffees that Nanny ate when she (or we) felt unwell in the tummy & usually Furry would rush off & get her a couple from the “secret stash”.

So there’s Nanny, faintly smiling, her cheeks cupped by Lainie, smiling to herself that her grandkids were going to look after her when -

Little furry climbs up on the back of the chair & holding on with one hand, proceeds to smack Nanny REALLY HARD in the back of the head while screaming at the top of his voice “GO AWAY NAUGHTY HEADACHE”

Well we went off to the picnic, and had a great day. We played all afternoon with the puppies, and fell into bed exhausted that night & slept all the way through the night.

Nanny also was a lot better, showing no ill effects of bearing the brunt of furry medicine.

When we finally saw her three days later!

But furry medicine really does work. Next time someone is complaining of a headache, sore finger, etc, stomp as hard as you can on their foot.

They soon forget about everything else, other than their foot.