It's only Wednesday arvo & quite frankly over I'm work for the week. So, with everyone else in "hump day" mode, I thought I'd share a couple of silly "when I was a younger furry" stories with you all.
Frankly, at parties, when I'm 1/2 cut, (pissed (drunk) for those confused ), with the actions & facial expressions, there are often a few victims of tear filled eyes & sore ribs from laughing.
And I must add here, no one died in these events, although we did try really hard. For those trying to be good parents, feel free to use these as tips for NOT what to let your kids do.
Event #1
In grade prep, at the tender age of 5 years, I had a dear friend we shall call Shane. Shane & I were inseparable. We were infatuated with Superman, (we are after all going back near 40 years ago). We tried & tried to fly, and of course, failed.
We figured that the issue was we didn't have enough hight for the take off, so we launched ourselves off the steps, the verandah, the railing, the back of his dad's truck, off the top of ladder & eventually from the 2nd story balcony of his house.
Well that was our first trip together to the hospital, there's not a lot that can be done for broken bones in one's feet!
Event #2
Shane's mum had a veggie patch, (vegetables), and in those days everything was grown from seed. Well, we planted tomato seeds & tomatoes grew, carrot seeds & we got carrots, sweet corn seeds grew sweet corn.
So, one day, Shane's mum brought home a budgie (basically a Australian native small parrot). He was beautiful & we found out she'd paid the equivalent of $20 in today's finacial environment for him.
Well, now that Shane & I had spent some time together and had “behaved”, (not that we were naughty, it was more a reward for not killing or maiming each other), as a reward Shane’s dad gave us 4 bob (40 cents each) & we were allowed to go to the Milk Bar & buy “whatever we liked”.
Well that wasn’t always the case, sometimes we liked crackers & fireworks, but the bloke who owned the shop refused to sell ‘em to us with out an “adult” being present. Fuck me, seriously, how much damage could 2 almost 6 year olds do?
Anyway, Shane & I arrived at the local milk bar (small supermarket), we were scanning the shelves for “what we wanted” when we saw "budgie seed".
Well we examined it carefully. Pictures on the bag confirmed it was Budgie seed, we looked at it and there was thousands & thousands of seeds, and that could only mean, thousands & thousands of budgies.
We decided at $20 buck a pop, (each), we didn't know how much it was, but we were going to be RICH, RICH, RICH.
We purchased the budgie seed, with what was normally 3 weeks lolly money, raced back to Shane’s, and planted it in the veggie patch, watered it regularly & waited patiently.
In a few weeks there was growth, then buds, we dreamed that soon there were going to be budgies EVERYWHERE. We weren't too worried about them flying off, 'cause babies just don't do much, do they?
Well, the buds flowered & died & not a single budgie. We took our plants back the Milk Bar man & complained, he simply laughed, (uncontrollably) at two very pissed off young wanna be businessmen.
That night when Shane's dad got home we were scornfully told off about "throwing our plants at his shop window".
We knew no one saw us, but could never figure out how he knew it was us.
Event #3
Shane lived near a park, with huge old pine trees. Shane was a blessed child, in as much, gravity loved him! Shane would, ALWAYS, get ¾’s of the way up a tree & fall.
Well we were watching a TV show one day and there were two guys climbing a mountain, they were joined by a rope you see, the second guy slipped & fell, the first bloke held on & when the rope went tight, the second guy clambered back up the mountain.
GLORY BE! We thought, here's the answer to Shane’s problems. We took a length of rope of Shane's dad's truck, (even though we'd been threatened with murder if we even LOOKED at his truck, let alone touched ANYTHING), but some things just have to be done.
We got to our favourite tree, tied the rope around our waists & up we climbed.
Sure as shit, ¾’s of the way up, Shane fell;
I held onto the tree & waited to save Shane. The rope went tight, as expected.
Shane was about 2 foot from the ground when it happened. His heals & head hit the deck, at that EXACT moment I was pulled from the tree. I came crashing down on Shane.
In much, much pain, we dragged our damaged little bodies home, (still joined by the rope), to Shane's place.
Well we got our butts belted by Shane’s dad for knotting up his rope, for touching his truck & for being stupid. It was a day of many lessons learned.
After a while the swelling in our arms caused some concern. Off to hospital again, Shane's left arm was set in plaster, as was my right arm.
It was about now, after what was our 7th or 8th joint trip off to hospital together, that our parents decided that it would be more beneficial for both of us not to play together anymore.
Go figure!
That's all for today, next week Uncle Furry will read another chapter from "The chronicles of a young furry". But be warned! If I did this to a friend, what do you reckon happened to my brothers?
See Ya
Uncle Furry.
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